My first day at the Dutch night club was in Rotterdam with two of my friends. I have always heard and read about gays while in Nigeria but had never met any gay person. In Nigeria due to our deep religious belief, gayism is not only a societal taboo but also a constitutional penal offence punishable by sentencing.

The possibility of flirting with female clubbers that evening increased my excitement. At least I was a single man still searching for “Miss Right” and not forgetting that I was in an asylum procedure that has not been given a positive decision at the time. I had been introduced to a few Nigerians who got their residence permit by either marriage or living together with their Dutch partners.

I stepped into the night club determined to “catch” a Dutch lady and join the league of the Nigerians with Dutch partners. The club was filled to capacity that you have to squeeze through to either sit or dance. The perforation of cigarette smoke filled the air and you could see the adrenalin of everyone reaching fever pitch.

I joined my friends and we started dancing together until I became tired and looked for an empty chair where I sat. I immediately noticed a lady on my right hand. She was a black lady whom I felt was Surinamese. She surprisingly engaged me in a chat in English and told me her ex lover was in the club with two ladies.

She asked if I could pretend to be her new found lover so to prove to her ex that she also came in with her man. I quickly jumped at the offer and saw it as my opportunity to have my first true lover in The Netherlands. She later suggested we leave the club and head to her house, I agreed and went to my friends with the news of my new “catch”. I told my friends I will meet them at home later in the day.

As we stepped outside she stopped a moving taxi and we were walking towards the taxi when the rays from the street lights shown properly on her face and I noticed she had black spots on her jaw which could have resulted from shaving. I looked closely at her chest and used my finger to lift a part of her blazer and saw she was hairy on her chest and didn’t have any bulging sign of a breast. At that moment I realized that I had been flirting with a man parading himself as a woman!

I was stunned and ran back to the club while she doubled her stepped towards the taxi and left. As I was approaching the entrance of the club, I saw my two friends outside and they said they came out to look for me. I was ashamed to tell them my experience but they already knew. They were approached by someone who had noticed me and the “lady”, the person asked them if I was gay and my friends said no. The person then told my friends to go after me because I was leaving with a gay man who dresses like a lady.

The moment I went back into the club, the whole people busted into laughter. I then realized that my companion was well known in the club as a gay who preyed on her ignorant victims like me. I was so ashamed of myself that I had to leave the club immediately with my friends. Ironically, I was told that the man was from Senegal …. An African like me!

The lesson I learnt from my first discotheque outing was that “is not all that glitters that is gold”!