How are you dealing with the hardships in Europe?

I came to Sweden to do my masters degree 6 years ago and then sought asylum at the end of my study in 2005. Unfortunately, my request was rejected by Swedish authorities several times and right now I'm living underground at my friend's place searching for the worst menial jobs in the country but to no avail; since most employers require not only work permit but also residence permit. Unlike most refugees, I had a promising career, good education and was in Europe 6yrs prior I sought asylum. So, I knew how hard life in Europe is/was and I did a conscious decision when I sought asylum because I really need a protection and live a life free of fear, intimidation and daily harassment by complete strangers back home. Getting a better life or making money was the least of my priorities. I sacrificed everything I build up all of my life to lead a free life but it turned out to be a nightmare. I had  one of the most respected profession in the world, interviewed ministers, presidents, business-persons, ordinary people, athletes etc and yet I wasn't ashamed to do some of the jobs which most average people look down until the Swedish police/immigration office took me away from my work place where I work as a cleaner on a cruising boat and then stopped my contract 3yrs ago. Right now, every single day is a nightmare, waiting for unknown and unpredictable. I don't have a past, neither a present nor a future. I feel like an alien and a living dead person without a purpose for that reason I cut off all my contacts with my family, friends, and colleagues because I'm so embarrassed of my situations. I was stuck where I was 6yrs ago and it's so frustrating to answer questions like if I have job, if I could go back to visit my family or about latest updates in my life which don't exist ever since I came here. It's a slow death which is painful, am I coward? I think so, I guess I should go back home and face the inevitable.

Hi Awash,

I live in Sweden as well, but unlike you , I'm from elsewhere from Europe. So , I have all the permits and so on. What is see funny ( not bad way ) is that Sweden for example needs educated persons , they need more tax payers and still they not allowing Africans to get work. I would agree that Sweden can't take all the refugees , but I still think that in here , if some company for example provided you work, you should get automaticly working visa at least. Sorry to say but all the European countries as well most of their citizens see Africans un-educated , lazy and so. So, if you can't speak Swedish like natives and don't know how to make Swedish food, you are un-educated...If you not work, you are lazy, but then again, how can you work, if you don't have a permit to work. Well, if you work dark, then you breaking the law. See the pattern.

The story of Awash is, alas, too typical. But, strictly, speaking, he is not somebody to be considered as a refugee. If a person lives in Sweden (or in another European country) for 6 years (with a student's visa, for example) and then applies for asylum, legally, he is not considered as a refugee. To be considered as a refugee, he should have applied for refugee status immediately upon his arrival in Sweden (with a student's visa, with a tourist visa, etc.). Then, if the situation in his native country is really bad for him, he would have got refugee status. After six years of living in Sweden as a student and plus after a few months of living in Sweden illegally, he has no chances.

I had been in Europe for my studies and later for my work. I knew all pros and contras of living in Europe and never considered a possibility of applying for asylum until I faced imprisonment in my land and had to escape as soon as possible... Now, after more than seven years with refugee status, my life is not all roses. Very far from it.

'Nobody welcomes a refugee... In the best case, a refugee can be only tolerated.' These words were written by Sándor Márai who would be recognized as one of the best writers of the 20th century only after his death. He knew what it was to be a refugee. In 1919, when his native city of Kaschau (now Kosice) became a part of Czechoslovakia, he (half-German-half-Hungarian) had to leave the city with the majority of German and Hungarian population. After living in Germany and in France for a few years, he finally settled in Budapest, the capital of Hungary. In 1944, he had to live Budapest for fear of being imprisoned by Nazi (for what he said and wrote about them) and was hiding in a small farm. Back in Budapest (which was at the time occupied by Russians), Márai considered emigrating to France, but, after spending some time in France in 1946, he came back. Only in 1948, when his books were forbidden and he faced deportation to Siberia, he did escape. First to Italy, then to the U.S.A. He never came back and he did not live to see his books published in Hungary again... In his memoir book of the years 1944-1948 (Land! Land!), he wrote a lot about being a refugee. His conclusion is:  leaving your native land is justified only if your life and/or your freedom is to be threatened. In all other situations 'home is best'.

I do agree with him. 

As I have already said, mine is 'a success story'. I never had to sleep in streets: I spent one night in AC Schiphol and then was sent to an asylum seekers' camp. And I got refugee status. And I live in an apartment, and I have a job. And I have Dutch nationality now.

BUT... From about  EUR 1,200 I get per month, I must pay almost EUR600 for my apartment (and my appartment is considered to be very affordable, by local standards).  And then about EUR150 for my medical insurance (which covers next to nothing, but is obligatory; if you are not insured, you must pay a fine).  And some EUR80 for electricity, gas and water. Plus the costs of  gas heater maintenance, the apartment repair package, the fire and theft insurance, etc. As the result,  if  I have EUR250 for food, clothes and telephone, I am really lucky. And once a year comes a bill for extra costs of heating (and, again I am still lucky: the apartment is good isolated, and there are radiators and not a gas fireplace for heating; my acquaintances who have a gas fireplace pay about EUR700-800 extra for gas every year, while I pay much less). In asylum seekers' camps they pay  you EUR50 per week now, I hear. When I lived in an asylum seekers' camp, they paid us EUR40 per week... Now, I have Dutch nationality and I work, and I also have about EUR50 per week. And extra expenses for heating can become a real nightmare. In winter, when it is very cold, I switch on the heating in one room only, and I closed the doors of two other rooms. And I put on two sweaters. Otherwise, I'll have to pay some EUR400-500 extra every year. My acquaintance, a girl from Congo who also got refugee status in Holland and settled in the same city, had to pay so much extra money for heating, that she was just forced to leace her apartment and move to real slums. You have to choose between paying a fortune for heating and wearing two sweaters all the time (and even in two sweaters, always feeling cold, as I do every winter).

And you need winter clothes, and good winter clothes cost a fortune.  I  still wear the winter coat and boots I got from the Committee for Assistance to Refugees. About a year ago, I managed to buy another coat at a sale in C & A. I buy affordable knitting wool and knit sweaters and berets for myself. I also buy some second-hand clothes from time to time.  In this way, I try to have more or less decent-looking clothes.

To make a long story short, my financial situation is about the same as it was in the asylum seekers' camps. Only in an asylum seekers' camps  they have adequate heating all the time, and you can have shower as long as you please, not thinking how much you will have to pay for gas and for water.